new technology

i tend to get all historical when i am in england. and i am going to open my paper today witha quote from a play called Becket (the story of thomas a beckett and his friendship wit Henry 11 in the 12th century--a friendship that was a tad strained when henry got a couple of his henchmen to bludgeon beckett to death); but anyway before the bludgeoning they used to get on very well. and beckett who spent a lot of time in France was alwasy trying to 'civilise' Henry. See below:

Thomas a Becket: Tonight you can do me the honor of christening my forks.
King Henry II: Forks?
Thomas a Becket: Yes, from Florence. New little invention. It's for pronging meat and carrying it to the mouth. It saves you dirtying your fingers.
King Henry II: But then you dirty the fork.
Thomas a Becket: Yes, but it's washable.
King Henry II: So are your fingers. I don't see the point.

technology doesn't always ahve a point. even if it's a fork

the ashes

since we have been here england has manged to reclaim the ashes. even if i hadn't known this myself, thre is no way i could have escaped the fact, because it has been pointed out to me by just about every single english/irish/welsh person i have met since it happened.

a few days ago, getting on a bus:#

us: how much is it?
him:; 2 pound 20
us: do we need to have the right money?
him: no, whatever you've got
us: we've got everything we just don't recognise it yet
him: (looking at the coins in our hands) well you don't have everything: you don't have the ashes.

yesterday; we were speaking to a taxi driver about the best way to get to Aberystwyth (this is where muriel's mum was born and we thought we might be able to catch a bus there and back in the same day-it's about 200 miles away).

him: you want to go there and back in a day?
us: well yes
him: let me ask a question; do you think australians are generally very upset about losing the ashes?
us: oh, not really. why?
him: well it just seems like you must have lost your mind if you want to spend a day travelling to somewhere just to say you were ther. hoe about i draw you a picture in stead?

last night:
us (to a man on the street walking his dog): excuse me, can you point us back to the university? we seem to be lost
him: oh yeah. Australians are you?
us: yes
him: you seem to be losing a lot of things lately. first the ashes. now the university. becoming a big of a habit.

so incase you are wondering. the ashes win is BIG BIG BIG news here.

absolutely my last slug reference

i promise not to go on about it any more, but one last point needs to be made. in wales one does not step on a slug; one steps into a slug. and it is disgusting.

live and learn

the motto of the university of glamorgan is 'you live, you learn'

i think this was written, not by someone in a marketing department, but by someone who accidently booked into their student accommodation, or tried having lunch in the treforest pub or wondered if it was possible to skate board down the 2000 stairs. or maybe it was written by someone who became an olympic steeple chase champion after studying on campus for a few years. either way. it is pretty apt.

did i mention that all the people here are totlaly lovely? friend and i caught a cab (and i do mean CAUGHT a cab: as in jumped in front of, ran behind and basicaly refused to move till he agreed to drive us to cardiff--20 mins away) and he entertained us for 20 minutes with talk about the cricket.

i SOOOOOO want to come home.

but it's off to drink some welsh tea which, i have to say, is no where near as nice as manchester's but about 212% cheaper

and in case this reads all wrongly, i know tht i am a lucky person, in a privilged position very spoilt to be able to travel to distant shores for little cost. but i'd still like to be home....

i am tired

i have nothing to say on this topic except that even when i have half way across the world and in two different time zones i still manage to wake up at 3 in the morning. so it is obviously something i am meant to do.

and i am thinking: what the hell is wales famous for? what should i buy as a souvenir? the idea of carrying home a big stuffed slug just doesn't do it for me. there must be other things....

Wales

okay well we made it to wales. i was going to try and come up with ten things to like about wales but i'm not sure i'll make it. so maybe i'll go with ten interesting things. or observations. or something:

1we arrived alive. driving in a car with some kind of maniacal briton who had obviously only just discovered that his car had gears and that highways have lanes

2 it is very green.

3 they have very big slugs. seriously. totally enormous. like canetoads. in a slug form.

4 it is very green.

5 it is the last place i have to be before i get to go home

6 every sign is written in english and welsh. this is neat but must cost a lot in paint (no wonder the economy is stuffed). the bilingual thing is also a bit confusing because i keep thinking that the second line of the sign is an instruction i have to obey: so the sign will say No Overtaking Wyndy Fergles. And so I wonder why the hell wyndy fergles are immune to being overtaken??

7 it has a computer lab (well wales probqbly has lots of computer labs (they certinly have 75 million stairs packed onto this one tiny campus so computer labs may well be 10 a penny; but what i meant was it has a computer lab i can find.

8 um. it isn't on fire.

9 it isn't on a volcano

10 it isn't the titanic.

man that was hard. i am going to go and look at the local village today. so maybe i'll hae more things to say after that.

oh and of course, the staff here have all been very very very sweet. and that ain't nothing.

reputation?

so i've spent a fiar bit of time with 4 particular colleagues in the past 4 days, and during that time i have had cause to comment on what are some fairly glaring inadequacies with the conference we are attending. now i like to think that i am usually fairly diplomatic and tactful about these things, and i certainly don't get any joy out of hurting people's feeliongs--but in venting about htese various bizarre moments i've seen my 3 companions look at me with their eyes wide open as though i'd started speaking in flemish. "you seem so sweet" said one "but you're not!"; "you seem so gentle" said another "but you're not!" "you are always so calm" said another "but now your not". so sleep deprivation apparantly comes between my popular facade and the world. and i have to say i am very very pleased about this. affter all, who the hell wants to be known as sweet???

ten thingss i hate about academics

1. they believe that they matter
2. they believe that they matter more than ANYONE ELSE
3. they whinge and moan and bitchh and complain if the windows in their bedrooms aren't big enough
4. they think that being paid to travel to another country and attend a fully funded conference is an imposition
5. they rarely say thank you
6. they believe their own publicity
7. they think that it is witty to make fun o f other, normal people
8. they travel in packs. and they like it
9. they use their titles when they introduce themselves to others
10. they are here with me instead of the people i'd rather be with.

its an english thing

looking out my window this morning it seems like the green hills are somewhat obscured by a thin layer of mist (and by the 42 buildings between me and the green, but that's a technicality); and i am wondering why i suddenly look outside and think 'mist' instead of the much more obvious 'fog'. and why i find myself wanting to use words like 'grand' and 'cheers'. there is definitely something in the air..

oh, and i saw a SQUIRRELL!! real live, loping along, how cool is that, squirrel??? (or at the very least some kind of animal that looked very very squirelly: do they have squirrells in england??)

number eleven

and of course the eleventh nice thing (actualy probably should be in the top 2) is that you can get really really nice pots of tea just about everywhere. in mexico you could buy high class silver jewellery for peanuts on every street corner (literally); here youu canget a jolly nice cuppa every time you turn around. while i was waiting for my room to be readied yesterday i was brought a cup of tea IN A TEA POT, milk IN A JUG and REAL LUMPS OF SUGAR. i was tempted to add sugar to the tea just cause they looked so beautiful.

so manchester and crockery in the one place: how good is that!

ten things to like about england

i am not sure i'll get to ten but here goes:

-they sell tins of soda and tonic that are really really tiny. like dolls cans. they re vereyy cute
-the taxis look like something out of the teletuubbies--and they come in all kinds of colours; we had a pink one!
-marks and spencer. you can get any kind of pre-cooked food/food to be heated up that you could imagine
-wine from weird places (and it is yummy)
-television so bad that it makes me appreciate the quality of australian tv (how amazing is that!)
-green. it is really really green
-the lovely big comfy bed i have in my room.
-the entirely unselfconsiouus way that people love cricket
-the fact that australians are still seen as 'cool' here
-thhe fact that it has great big airports that will help me when i want to go home.

and now to work, perchance, to well, work i suppose....

hoorah for exhaustion; hoorah hoorah

well against all reasonable expectations i have manged about 11 hours sleep. admittedlyy there was the odd bit of tossing and turning (or maybe i just did that in myhead cause i'mnot sure i would have had the energy to ACTUALLY toss and turn. but now sitting here working, looking at my very rumpled hair in the mirror i don't feel entirely hideous.

my plan for today is to do a couple of hours work (i don't thhink i've ever worked so much as i have the last month-i even worked on the damn plane until my battery ran out. i am so taking some time offf when i get home...)

and then i suspect i will have to do some sight seeting with the 3 other folk who are here. frankly i'd rather just track down some manchester stores and buy some kid souvenirs but i am not entirely convinced that the other 3 wouldn't kill each other if i wasn't there. but we'll see how it goes.

and it seems like it will be a nice, sunny (although kinda misty) day.

time for sleep

okay having been very brave and strong and tough i have made it through to 8.30pm here and i am now going to bed which is probably a bout 48 hours since i got out of bed in geelong. so that's not bad. the curry meal was good too, as was the bizarre chilean wine. so was the little walk. but nothing here can top the big comfy bed. and i sincerely hope that by the time i wake up it well into afternoon tea time in koala land.

jolly old england

well amazingly enough i am in england and on line. why this amazes me when the world is full of totally freaky things (including people who see nothing strange about doing an entire tai chi routine in the aisle of a very crowded airoplane even if it shows more of their body than ANY one else wants to see. and strange lumps of potato optimistically labeled gnocchi and served at highly excitingn times like 11 in the morning. and airport lounges in singapore with subway stores.) but anyway; i am amazed. tired. and amazed. maybe those two are connected. i remember when i was in the land of no sleep that parents get to know so well all kinds of simple things amazed me (shiny buttons, pieces of string...); but i guess i am just concentrating on being amazed so i don't concentrate on being homesick. how pathetic is that. 38 years old and i miss being at home. oh sure, the whole 'other side of the world' thing is interesting. but really, dorothy was right....for some of us there's no place like home.

i am not going to go to sleep. i'm not. really really really really not.