into the breach

once upon a time i had a reputation for being a tad nervous before presentations. cj was warned about this the first time we did a joint gig. but generally speaking i've been able to keep a lid on things in recent years. if i didn't vomit and they didn't cry then i was usually happy. but today i am strangely frighened. in the not good way. in the "oh hell i am going to try so hard i am going to be ridiculous" way. and run over time. and irritate everyone. and get blacklisted by ed bureaucracies for the rest of my life. so it is seriously time to do some deep breathing, think of calm blue oceans and dream of tomorrrow when this weill all be over. and prepration for the next one, next week, can begin...